Stop Talking, Just Listen

If there’s something that we as humans struggle with it’s rushing to provide solutions or advice when someone is hurting. I know I do this a lot. When my wife is frustrated with something, the first thing I jump to is to offer up as many solutions to her problem as I can. It doesn’t work (shocker).

Pain and sorrow are an inevitable part of this life. As Christians, we are called to offer comfort to those who are hurting. Many of us rush to provide advice when what the person needs most is to feel heard and validated in their pain. I’ve been reading a book lately called “People Fuel” by Dr. John Townshend. If you haven’t read it yet, give it a read. It speaks so much truth to this idea of giving and receiving the relational nutrients necessary to live.

One of the most profound ways we can comfort others is in silence. It’s in silence where genuine empathy can be found. That’s because you are choosing to listen. It means being present, absorbing the other person’s words, and showing a genuine interest and understanding of what their hurt is.

We read in James 1:19 about the power of listening to other’s hurts, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” In a world that is quick to offer advice, being a silent listener is powerful. It’s not about fixing the problem but creating a space where the emotions that the other person is feeling can be expressed without fear of being judged. This is how we grow in relationship with one another and how we love others - by sitting with someone in their hurt and letting them know that they matter to you.

By choosing to listen, we reflect the love of Christ. Jesus empathized with the broken and offered comfort. Christ came for the broken. We are to “Come to Him, all who labor and are heavy laden, and He will give you rest.” Giving someone the space to express their burdens, echoes that invitation from Christ.

Not everything can be fixed right away. Not everything needs immediate answers. That’s a truth that I’ve struggled with. I’m the type of person that wants to fix everything right away when things go wrong. What I’ve learned lately is that it’s through that silent empathy that we most express love and comfort.

Be reminded that in the midst of our struggles, you are not called to provide all the answers but to demonstrate the love of Christ, who is with us in our sorrows and offers the actual comfort and rest that our soul longs for.

Just sit there and listen. Validate their feelings. Let them know that they are loved.

Because greater comfort is not found in your solutions, it’s found in what Christ has done.

To God be the glory!

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You’re not perfect. You don’t have to walk this tightrope from heaven to earth. This song speaks a lot of truth. Give it a listen.

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I pray that your day is full of reminders of God’s love and faithfulness. May you faithfully build your life on Christ.

“But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in my weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

To God be the glory,

Coach T